Chronicles

Some times I wondered if you care,

Sit in a dark space, shut the door And scream, and wonder if you’d hear,

If I’m crying, but when you ask are you alright, I say of course with a stare,

I wish you’d pressed on and asked Again,

On Mondays, I feel like a sunny day at the fair,
On Tuesday’s, I’m on coffee so I don’t care,
On Wednesdays, I’d pass by just to hit the blunt and hear comments like “your ass has come”
On Thursdays, I wish you were here,
On Friday’s, I wish upon the stars because of your snaps,
On Saturdays, the reminiscing of hurt is put in my art,
On Sundays, I’m day dreaming while working, and begging for mercy,
Next week I do it all again.
If you don’t get it, dont bother
Don’t ask me if that’s my brother,
I write my truth and I do so with my liver,
And if I’m called out yeah so what?
No matter how much you try to shut me up,
My truth is mine and none other,
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SPEAK OR SLIT

It’s funny,

That I always feel the need to suppress my emotions,

That even when I’m happy I don’t want to look giddy,

Even when I’m sad I don’t want to be asked questions,

Even when it’s nothing I just want to be quiet without looking like it’s depression,

But I’m in distress So,

With all that’s going on, I feel it nevertheless,

Fighting with the urge slit or speak,

Wondering if I’ll make it 10 years from now or a week,

Wondering when death would come it’s been wondering in my sleep.

But The real reason I’m mad,

That as bad as I wanted you to, you didn’t fight back,

Never saw you at PTA’s but I’d still brag,

Never wanted mama to be right, but you looked me in my eyes and said you was coming back,

You never did,

Fun fact, I look exactly like this man

Fun fact, I took some habits and his big head,

Fun fact, we look the exact same when he was a kid,

Fun fact, I wish you were a dad and not just a sperm donor to me.

I always wonder what you feel,

Do you love or hate me,

Do I mean the world to You? Or just a mistake,

Am I regrettable or are you proud of me,

Do you look at me and smile,

Thinking damn she took my eyes,

She is just as ambitious as I used to,

And she draws just like I used to,

I’d hate to cry,

Over a man that chose his smile over mine,

Over a man That don’t think I’m worth a dime,

Over a man that would do the same in a different time,

After all that you’ve done,

I still want you to be proud,

Stand across the room and shout “that’s my daughter” out loud,

Drink with all your friends and talk about my success,

And have brunch in the morning and tell me “baby you did that”

Exhausted In Love

I did nothing wrong, but fall in love,
You just treated me like I was an option,
Tell me what the hell is going on,

Cause you don’t get to feel how the hell this hurts,
I’m hurting,

Cause all the love I’ve been giving goes unnoticed,
I’m hurt,

Cause every time you left my heart was broken,

I’m in pain,

And now that you’re done what was your reason,
Tell me,
Is it true, that it was lust and all for nothing?

Is it true that you didn’t feel nothing?
Is it true that I was playing games with the devil?

Is it true?

I’m hurting,

Cause all the love I’ve been giving goes unnoticed,
Cause every time you left my heart was broken,

And now that you’re done what was your reason,

Heard a couple of stories,
You made me believe they were lies,

Heard a couple of rumours,

You asked do you still believe in the Times?
Now I’m sitting thinking to myself what’s it gonna be,

Trying to fight so I don’t go insane,
Trying to find a balance but it’s not the same,
Not trying to choose who is meant to stay,

Cause with or without you I’d still go insane…

Bleeding but I Knew

Don’t take it personally,
Love is a beautiful thing,
It’s just not for me,
I can’t help but think,
What could’ve been,
But it’s just not for me,

I can’t afford to bleed,
What’s hurting more is myself esteem,
Love, don’t bring that close to me,

I heard she’d be in town next week,
I can see you’re thrilled,
I know what this game Is, I just can’t fit,

I’m good Love, I’m where I’m supposed to be,
You called me two or three times this week,
Asking when should we meet,
Damn, I don’t know homie.
Swear I did that so he’d notice,
No more dates baby, I’d sleep in, that’s free.
So for now I’ll leave,
And it’s hurting even though I knew,
And to point you as the accused,
Would be the worse thing I’d do.

Only A Dream

We were blind but we never saw,
So in pain but we never felt,
So lonely but we were always alone,
Dreaming wide awake,
Seeing pictures of your face,
Tell me is this real or is it fake,

Love has never felt this way,

 

I’m thinking we should meet again,
Same time as before, same place,
Same face, you’d see same makeup on my face,
Can’t wait for my breath to be taken away,
I’m here, with a huge smile on my face,
Waiting for hours, with this rain,

Wondering, maybe you can’t recall my face,

 

Hi I’m YaRadeesh,
Nice to meet you Collin’s my name

I still remember How you touched my hair

Pick a Side

I feel like you need to pick a side,
Ride like its you and I,
You know he was mad,
Cause I said he looked high,

Eyes red, blood wired,
As he came closer, I saw the rage in his eyes,
Now I’m saying I didn’t mean to,
And that was late too,

I remember I tripped,
When he slapped me on the cheek,

I remember I fell in the chair,

Next thing I know, he’s pulling my hair,

I love him I swear,

So there’s only so much I can share,

Just cause you hit ones, don’t mean you own Her,

And baby girl stop trying to show that you care,

I want to run and hide,

Never show my face again,

I hope time would fly,
And I’ll never have to run this race again,

He told me no one would love me,
More than he does,

I stay on all fours,

Cleaning and cooking,
What more do you want?
We ain’t even married,
I have marks everywhere,
And we ain’t even Indian,
You know he gets mad,
If his friends are staring,
I try to tell him it’s my fault,

But its not like he’s hearing,
I’ll soon need aids for hearing,
Cause last night he slapped off my earing,

I’m screaming I didn’t do nothing wrong Warren,

But Still, he’s not gonna listen,

I admit I need help,
But where do I go to from here,
Who’s gonna love me next,
Who’s gonna love me with all these marks and a busted lip,
Who’s gonna love me without taking advantage of me,

Who’s gonna look at me without finding any faults on me,
Tell you what you need,
You need Jesus love on you,

Cause all these mandem don’t deserve all of You,

Just come to Jesus cause he already loves you.

He’s Scared

I see him scanning through the room looking at everybody,

Looking through faces he doesn’t know, searching for anybody “where she at?”

He is different I can tell,

He’s new, knew that as well,

He’s tall handsome and fair,

He’s dressed nicely, much like a prince from hell,

His eyes laced with despair, you can tell that he is scared,

Scared of the unknown, scared of what might be next,

Scared of the voices cause they tell him you gon’ be next,

Scared she would be mad, scared she wouldn’t understand,

Scared it wouldn’t last, scared that she might find out,

But that can’t happen, cause she is possibly the only one putting him in check.

Now he asks himself, what am I doing here?

He’d rather be blowing trees and getting lifted,

He’d rather pop pills and pry in his addiction,

He’d rather fantasize than put in work,

And he’ll say “you see it doesn’t really work”

Cannabis

The depression is killing,
And I’m done can I just quit,
But I can’t just leave,
This life is tough I can see it,
I’m an addict of its evil,
Cause even when I’m choking I still struggle to breath,
My hope is declining,
A blunt is what I need,
This life is so tiring,
My heart is on a speed,
I think I need more canabis,
Just help me fucking breathe,

I wonder if I’m high now,
I wonder if I’ll be fine now,
I wonder what’s next when the sky is down,

Can’t you see I’m tired?
My eyes look like they’re wired,
My mind is running wild,
My head is always down,
I’d hate for you to see me cry,
So I try to force a smile,
So you’d think I’m really fine,
But the truth I could die,
Any minute from now,
SB

DIARY OF A BROKEN GIRL

Hi guys

Thank you for the warm welcome. Just wanted to inform you that I’ll be doing a series of poems the title of the series is Diary Of a Broken Girl… I’ll write as much as I can, I’ll try to make it fun, because it’s mostly sad but enjoy 🙃

Diary Of a Broken Girl

It’s not easy to be me,
I try each day to be comfortable in my skin,
I never want it to look like I’m running away from my self,
But dammit I’m trying to love myself.
I need to stop blaming myself for a lot of things,
Cause most of the time I’m not even aware,
I could cut myself some slack, but what the hell?
I’ll be back at it by the end of the night,
So here’s a toast to everything I’ve missed,
I’ll stop reaching out to people that I miss,
I’ll move on and act like this is it,
I’ll have to face my fears cause reality is shit,
Make me a sandwich I’m done watching my weight,
And if i dont have that glorified body,
I think I’ll do just fine,
But at the same time I just want to show that I can be sexy too,
“What’s up with school”
I read a couple lines and I dropped that book,
I’m fighting to stay alive,
I’m not trying to win a prize,
So take that comparison shit out the back,
I’m tired of hearing who’s next best,
Help me would you lift this load off my back,
I’m trying my hardest best.
I’m Tired of hearing who’s better looking,
I’m tired of hearing whose ass is bigger,
I’m tired of hearing I act a baby,
Just because I didn’t pop the Cheri.

-SB🙃

Lyrics

Everybody is running away from something,
When they have their ears plugged in,
I speak of your melody that draws my soul in,
I speak of your words that have those rhythm to it,
And sometimes I know you try to hide it,
But how can you hide what you have already given?
Sometimes I drown even in the mere beat,
You know when the song hasn’t started but your heart is already in it,
You know when the tone speaks louder than the voices in your head,
And at that moment you know you’re already soaked in.
Your lyrics speak of my past life,
That’s why I relate so well to that last line,
And every time I sing it, I sing it like it’s my last time.
Your lyrics speak of another life,
One where I’d love to belong,
You take me on a long journey, a lonely, dark alley, I’ve never trekked before.

-SB🙃